Our home is our castle (contd)

From: Riona
To: Phil, Gordon
Subject: Homeowner stress: It could be worse

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/report_nations_gentrified?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

From: Phil
To: Riona, Gordon

Damn funny!

From: Gordon
To: Riona, Phil

You guys should have joined my pilgrimage to the burbs when you had the chance. Unless, of course, Lord Phillip has planned an archer tower into the new roof top.

From: Phil
To: Riona, Gordon

Actually we already have an archer tower . you guys are so behind the times. ;-)


From: Riona
To: Phil, Gordon
Plus, one of the advantages of a fire escape behind the kitchen is that we can boil oil on the stove and then pour it right out the back door. So convenient!

From: Gordon
To: Riona, Phil

With the bathroom where it is, there's no reason not to expand this concept to boiling fecal matter. To degrade and demoralize adds value to any proper military defense.

From: Phil
To: Riona, Gordon

Probably has a lower boiling point than oil?

From: Gordon
To: Riona, Phil, Aiden

Not an easy question to answer Phil.

Oil consists of carbon chains of varying length and molecular weight. At a given temperature some of those chains vaporize while the rest remain in liquid form. By definition, until the vapor pressure matches the surrounding pressure there can be no boiling, as I’m sure you know. Basically, this is the idea behind fractional distillation.

Feces, on the other hand, is mostly fat and solid waste. Molecularly speaking, it’s all over the map (the crap map?). While petroleum has a defined but wide range of temperature where boiling occurs, the boiling range for fecal matter depends mostly on diet.

Do you and Riona eat a lot of fatty foods, like stuff with butter or olive oil? We could probably narrow the temperature range a bit if we had more information on what you guys eat.

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This is where my head exploded.